In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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