2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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