his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize