I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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