South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize