Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
