He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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