so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
