I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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