Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
