If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
