So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
