Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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