using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm like, not good at living.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
