yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
