I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
