saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
