I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
