To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
