Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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