Where did you get a picture of my penis
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The Olympian is in my bed
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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