I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize