some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Alive.
So much puke
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I believe in your delicious
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
