You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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