p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
