I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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