Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize