it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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