ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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