i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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