I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
too bad you live with your parents still
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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