my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So vagazzling was a success
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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