My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
