I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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