is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
