Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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