Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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