Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
