loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
