shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize