I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
