I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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