you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
