Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
