white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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