so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Randomize
