I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just pee around me
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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