normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
