We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
