I've blown a few things in my day
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
