i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize