so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
