so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Found the puke drawer
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
