I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
