How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She bit a glass in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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