She announced her abortion via fbk
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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