the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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