from now on my penis is your penis
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
