Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she pinky promised me she was 18
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
