I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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