I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
